Firstly I'd like to say that I once again thoroughly enjoyed a superb rideout with a great bunch of blokes whose efforts made it a
memorable and pleasent experience, so cheers everyone!

Arrived at camp Zero at around 2pm on Friday afternoon, I thought I'd be the first to arrive, however Toecutter was even more eager and
was there in his van to greet me as I entered the muddy site.

We were deciding on a suitable spot to camp when the heavens opened up, thus sending us scampering for shelter and delaying the decision

After a while the rains subsided and I decided to have a slow ride around the field looking for a decent flattish area with minimal cowpat coverage.
TC followed along but sadly managed to get his van stuck in a bit of cack!

Once again it started to piss down!

After several attemps to free it, it was decided it best to wait for a few more bodies to help push and hopefully liberate the van from it's shitty shackles.

By now a few more members had turned up, ie. Paulie, Harv, Phil, and Trigg and so we once again attempted to get TC out of the rut.
After several tries we gave up and decided to ask for a tow!

A lesson to be learnt here, be careful where you stand when pushing a car in deep mud. Paulie and Phil will both agree with that.

Eventually we got a tow and all ended happily as you can tell from the smile on TC's face as he is dragged along by "Scottish Energy?"

Not much later Dave arrived and then Cirex (Chris) which left just Tweeky, who had a long ride down from Manchester through lots of torrential rain.
Most of us had pitched tents by now except for Harv, Phil and Chris who opted for a local B&B rather than rough it with the rest of the MEN!

As we stood around getting slightly wet and a little despondant TC started to unpack his Tardis of a van and conjured up the biggest tarp I've ever seen.
We managed to fashion a shelter by parking TC's van parallel to a fence and secured the tarp from van to fence with bungees.
We added a few borrowed bamboos and hey presto, a beer tent!

Like a magician pulling rabbits from a tophat, TC continued to cheer us up by producing a generator, Cases of beer, packs of water, electric kettle, deck chairs, etc etc.
I'd like to personally thank him for all his effort and thoughtfulness, CHEERS TC!

In the previous picture, you will notice Paulie sitting in his £4 Lidl/Aldi tripod seat. I had to laugh at it's uselessness as I produced my £10 canvas armchair and proceeded to place it
next to him in order to make him feel inferior.

However this was short lived when Trigg unpacked what can only be described as a "midgets knacker hammock"

The rain did clear up later and it began to get very cold, but we had our beer tent so had little to worry about!
We agreed that some sort of sustenance was in order even though Tweeky hadn't arrived yet. So we messaged Tweeky so that he knew where we would be and we
headed off to the local pub for a slap up meal and a pint.

Tweeky arrived at the pub having already been to camp and put his tent up, he had time for a quick pint before we all headed back to camp for a few more beers and a bit of banter.

After a few tins the less hardy folk left for their B&B which included warm beds, TV's and hot showers and radiators (bar stewards)

We campers bedded down for a night of bitter cold, early hour piddles and a louder than average refrigeration unit located nearby.

TC was sleeping in his van and I must confess to being ever so slightly jealous as I opened the ice encrusted zip on the porch of my tent!

I do wish I hadn't drank 3 pints just before bed, that 3am slash was very very cold

Saturday morning turned out to be dry, bright and very cold and Fridays nights rain had what can only be described as crystalised!

This is the top of my tent

No wonder I started to shiver at the end of my 3am toilet break

After a nice early morning cuppa, curtesy of Dave's Stove, us campers went to have breakfast up at the farm house. The toast was fine but the rest was a right shower of shite.
The sausage which we were later told was Lamb and should be served with gravy, tasted and looked like a cross between sawdust and camels ear wax.
The bacon fat was white and apparently it is more trouble to leave tomato's off the plate than to serve them.
In all it was crap and we all agreed that we would give it a miss on sunday morning, maybe chew on a cowpat instead, tastier and cheaper!

The only reason we were smiling is that we were warm and we hadn't been served brekkie yet?

The softies joined us around 9am and continued to tell us how warm they were all night, which TV channels that had been watching and how lovely the showers were.
Then spent even more time describing their magnificent breakfasts, where they ate as much as they wanted and seconds were provided (bar stewards)

Mark (Hamwick) also joined us on Saturday mornin, he came down with his VanVan on a pretty neat trailer.

We set off on our ride to Portland Bill at around 9.30, with the sun on our backs it looked like it was going to be a nice day for riding.
Besides filling up with petrol our first stop was after 30 miles. Boscombe pier/sea front for a quick cuppa.

Then it was through Bourenmouth and onto Sandbanks ferry for a quick float over to Studland.

Over on Studland there was a quick stop for the obligatory vanvan line up

We carried on from Studland and headed for Weymouth which would lead us onwards to Portland Bill, However dark clouds were looming and as we were
coming into Weymouth the heavens opened up and cast out out all of it's hail. With 1 or 2 of us without waterproof trousers on we pulled
into Weymouth Sealife Center to seek shelter and to allow riders to put on their waterproofs.

We loitered around the Male toilets probably longer than we should have and so decided that we would make it into a
snack n drink stop.

Most were satisfied with their purchases except for one indidvidual (who shall remain nameless) who caused a bit of scene
by returning his Ham & Cheese toastie for a refund.

We left the Cafe and made our way back to our bikes in nice dry weather. We were all ready to go when ToeCutter's bike failed to start.
After an hour of fiddling and jump starts it looked unlikely that it would play any further part in the ride out. TC called
the AA and we deserted him and left for Portland Bill lighthouse.

The ride to Portland Bill Lighthouse was quite bright with only a few light showers and when we finally arrived the wether was glorious.
We stayed here for about 45 mins, took a few pictures, ate some cake, drank some tea and took in the sun.

We left Portland and decided on a fast, straight route back to camp Zero, but not before a quick check in to see if TC had been picked up by the AA.

We pulled into the Sealife center carpark and TC was no where to be seen, however his bike was and it was without a battery!
After much speculation as to where or what had happend to him, he arrived back in an AA van, with his battery in his hand.

Apparently it was the battery that was knackered and although they had tried to get a replacement it was all in vain as no local shops had any stock
and as it was getting quite late everyone was shutting up shop. TC once again stayed behind and waited for a bigger van so that he could
be taken back to camp.

We eventually left Weymouth and had a great ride back, full pelt, faster roads, very little rain.

Back at camp Mark loaded his bike and headed off home, we broke out a few beers and waited for TC's return.
He finally arrived around 8-ish I think and hehad decided to head on home. He wouldn't be able to join us for a Sunday morning ride, so I don't blame him.
As we dismantled the beer tent andhelped him load up his van he was good enough to let us know that he'd be having hot bath with a few hours and
a nice comfortable, warm bed to sleep in.

We waved him off and made our way back to the New Forest Inn, where funnily enough everyone had burger & chips.

When we left the pub, the Toffs went straight back to their B&B, Trigg headed for Lymmington ferry and us commoners went back to camp, which was now minus a beer tent!

As luck would have it, it was a lovely clear night with no sign or rain what so ever. So we all sat around a Coleman stove,
drinking beer and chatting til late. The stove finally ran out of petrol and so I decided to hit the sack.

It was a slightly warmer night, even so I still wore extended jonathons and had a couple of buffs wrapped around my head and neck,
I was taking no chances. I could just make out the voices of the others still chatting as I drifted off to sleep.

Sunday morning was lovely, a little warmer and not at all wet. We all decided that
we couldn't stomach another crap breakfast so after a quick cuppa, Myself, Tweeky and Dave headed off to a garage near Ringwood
that sold various pastries and also had a hot food counter. Paulie stayed behind at camp to preen himself.

On the way back we stopped off at a fireplace for a quick warm.

When we got back, we scoffed, Croissants, Pain au Almonds, Pecan & Maple syrup slices and swirly things. It was so much nicer that that old hags
rancid chow!

As it was dry we decied to pack up our tents and pack everything away and take it with us so that we
didn't have to come back to camp later.

The Toffs turned up around 10-ish with egg and bacon dribbling down their chins telling us "that as the
bacon was thinner today, she had given them four slices," but today were weren't jealous,
we were full from our delicious pastries.

It was decided that we would have just a short ride to the Red Shoot Inn for a coffee and natter before all heading off for home.
Tweeky had a long 240 miles trek ahead of him, so he said he would head off straight from camp. He was a promise too,
so must have swayed that decision.

We were joined this morning by Toggy who had come along for the Sunday ride, sorry if you were disappointed but things don't
always turn out as planned.

As Tweeky was loading his bike up, he let out a couple of expletives as he realised that his back rack had snapped.
½ an hour and an inpromtu repair later he was ready to roll.

Voila!!!!

And so a last drink and chat at the Red Shoot

I hope everyone had a safe and uneventful journey home.

Thanks guys it was good to catch up and like me I hope you had a thoroughly enjoyable weekend....

Ant...